Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
