it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
