Plan B is the new Plan A
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
