good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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