Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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