Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
