Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
