So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
