So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
