What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
