That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It's Friday. Sex?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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