Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
