This is not my ceiling
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
