omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
