so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
