the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
