hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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