Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
