If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
