The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
