My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
