bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
