Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
