that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Watching her eat just hurts me
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
