I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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