when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
