I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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