YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
