absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize