you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
