you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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