My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
