I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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