i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
