Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I did not marry a roomba.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
