My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
