Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
