Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
NoShamevember. You game?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
