Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
