$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
