your room smells of hookers.
And success
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
