His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Found your dick twin last night
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
