Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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