You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
handjob tips. give me some.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
