i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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