but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
