You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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