ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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