Taylor Swift is so right about you.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Shame - the story of my life.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
