i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
