I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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