If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
